The communication gap in a family is, by far, one of the biggest hurdles that come in the way of right parenting because no matter what you believe, communication is always the key to relationships, whether it is with your partner or your children. Hence it is very important to have an understanding of how to bridge the communication gap in the family.
Communication is the foundation you put in. Your children must feel safe and secure when they think about talking to you about a matter, no matter how tabooed or shameful it is. Periods, sex, education, sexuality, mental health, depression, anxiety; they will go through all of that whether you tell them or not. So why not be a safe space for them so you can teach them the right thing?
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The communication gap in families is prevalent these days due to the generation gap among the adults and the kids, and the fact that the world is finally getting aware of many things that it did not previously. So, want to know how to bridge all that cavity? Here are just the ways!
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Interact more
Have you been too busy with your work? Has it been a very long time since you had some family time with your kids?
If yes then you can surely expect some major communication gap in the family. Talk to them more, involve them in your activities, and play with them if necessary.
Do not force them to communicate
Forcing them to communicate with you will only lead them to not talking to you. It will make them feel restricted, and they may be repulsed by you.
Listen
You may think that your child isn’t speaking enough, but have you ever wondered whether you are listening enough? Be sure to actively listen and genuinely understand your child’s emotions and thoughts, not just speak your own if you really want to fill the communication gap in the family.
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Keep an open mind
Do you ever remember this saying to yourself or any of your friend when you were little:
“Oh, no. Dad/Mom will never understand that haha.”
Well, your child may be thinking the same thing.
Have an open mind, have enough flexibility, and be ready to change for good if you have to.
Don’t make your child regret talking to you
This is one of the biggest reasons for the communication gap in a family. Your children most probably regret coming and talking to you. It is usually because of the following reasons:
- You shamed them about something which wasn’t their fault.
- You punished and scolded them more than they deserved about something that was their fault.
- You broke their trust, talked about their secret with someone else.
If you did any of that, it’s never too late to apologize to them and turn in a new leaf!
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Don’t invalidate them
If your child opens up to you regarding their emotions, never invalidate them. Invalidation is something that hurts way more than one can imagine and makes the person lose trust in you. If they ever tell you that they feel a certain way, never tell them that it’s all in their head. It eventually leads to a communication gap in the family.
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Love them unconditionally
You have to let your child know that you love them without any if-s or but-s. So when they have mistakenly messed up or have something that they want to talk about, they can come to you without having the fear of abandonment.
Stop the comparisons
Comparing your child to others, their siblings, or even to yourself when you were a child, is another factor that causes a communication gap in the family. It drastically lowers your child’s self-esteem and makes them lose enthusiasm they may previously have had.
You may think that comparing your child to other people would help them achieve their ideals. But trust us, it never does.
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Give importance to their opinions
Your child is an individual human being and has the right to voice out their opinions. Whenever you are deciding something for your family, always take their opinion into consideration. It helps them feel important and helps them have more trust in communicating with you.
Talk to them about your problems too
Take them in trust often and talk about your issues with them too. Let them in. So they feel important and reciprocate the behavior too. The communication gap in a family is not always from one extreme side. It can be from your side too.
But remember to not burden them with things they aren’t supposed to be burdened with. Like your relationship problems with your partner or grave issues of finance.
Also Read: How Does It Affect a Child Mentally If Parents Are Fighting All The Time?
Do not invade their privacy
Invading your child’s privacy never ever helps anyone in any way, it just leads to a communication gap in the family. It is okay to be vigilant and careful and to know about your child’s life. But don’t make them feel like they have no access to their personal life when you are around.
Let them breathe freely and come to you and talk to you about something if they want to. You can never force someone to feel a certain way towards you.
Do not control them
You have to know that you can’t change what they feel, or what they want to do. People can disagree on things, no matter how close they are and that is okay. There are times when you need to put a foot down with your children, but coming to a compromise instead of dictating your child in every way will make the gap a little smaller.
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Research and keep yourself updated
You may not consider it important but it very indeed is. The reason for this huge gap between adults and teens is that adults aren’t aware of what is happening in the world. You have to educate yourself from time to time with a flexible mindset.
Only when you know about the grave matters that children are facing in this world today or the issues that every child has to face in general, you can bridge the communication gap in the family. You are a guardian and your children should be able to look up to you for the right advice or support.
There are many problems that children these days are facing. Including career selection, relationships, mental health issues, and many more. Even cyberbullying, since social media platforms like Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and twitter are a trend these days. Your children should know that they don’t have to tackle it alone and they can come to you for help.
You’re good to go!
Keeping all these factors in mind, you can surely gain significant success in bridging the communication gap in the family. Be loving, be caring, be open, be flexible, be sensible, be informed, be calm, and your child will surely try to communicate with you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is there so much communication gap in families?
A huge reason for the ever-increasing communication gap in families is because of globalization. Now globalization obviously doesn’t directly separate brother from brother, but the increased communication aspect of it has ironically reduced interaction with people right next to you.
Nowadays people of all ages are unhealthily invested into social media. They prefer DM’ing for hours on end, over even the most relaxed in-real-life conversations. Plus, having connections with countless people all over the world seems more tantalizing than committing to a few at home.
Today’s employment world has also become much more demanding, again due to globalization-related increased business. The bread-earner(s) of the family finds themselves exhausted after a long day of work, and seldom has the time and energy to socialize.
Even the youngest ones these days spend time watching cutesy videos on the internet. This way they are kept from throwing tantrums, and the peace of the house is sustained.
These and many more reasons prove and increased interaction between different parts of the world has widened the communication gap in families.
How can we remove the communication gap in family?
Increasing the amount of communication your family can be done in many different ways. You can do the following to achieve this:
- Allot certain hours every day to spending with the family. This could be after dinner in the living room, over board games and favorite beverages. This would strengthen the bond between each family member.
- Try to eat together. Instead of each person taking their food to their own room, practice having food in the presence of each other. Food is also known to lighten moods, so you might be in for healthy conversations.
- Arrange dates with your family. Go out with your family every now and then, it also acts as sort of a reward and might make your family cheerful, as well a great way to bond with them.
- Participate in activities that your family enjoy doing. Be it something that interests them collectively, or even one-on-one dates with each member, doing this would make for a good opportunity to socialize, as well as make your family feel valued.
How could I reduce communication gap with my child?
If you feel like you and your young one do not spend enough time together, or lack a strong parent-child bonding, the following are some tips for you:
- Listen to your child
- Share things with your child
- Tell them they could talk to you about anything
- Do not overlook their opinions
- Avoid telling them to keep quiet and not express what they think or feel