The thought that my child has no friends at school can make almost all the parents worried. As a parent, you hold an extraordinary place in your kid’s social life. You are the best friend your kid can have. You keep your child in the warmth of your motherly feathers. And never want him to get himself out of them. But, when it comes to adding people in his social life, having good friends be the topmost priority.
THE NEED OF FRIENDS IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE
My child has no friends at school! Why do I want my child to have friends? Is my child having trouble making friends? These and many more questions like these can arise in the heads of parents, as they parent their child.
But, on the other hand, many parents underrate the need for friendship. They have the wrong approach that their child does not need friends in life. Above all, they need to stay connected to their child regarding this matter and nurture their friendships.
THE “FRIEND PHASES” FOR YOUR CHILD
While in pre-school, friendships enhance social and emotional skills. They increase the child’s wisdom, intellect, self-esteem, and confidence. In other words, lack of attachments in life can cause depression, and thus other health issues making life span shorter
As your child enters the elementary school age, he learns the true meaning of friendship while in school. A good friend at this age will bring the best interests of your child, and have a strong backup of support.
AGE TO HAVE FRIENDS
There is a big age range of normal when it comes to preschoolers making friends. Here you feel the need of your child to have friends at school. Before the age of three, kids are more friends and playful to you. They are most reluctant to be with someone else.
However, by the age of three, they get along with other children. They include child care groups, kindergarten, or playgroups. Now, as they get to age four or more, they learn to differentiate between friends and other people. So, they actively choose their friends.
Also Read: What Do Kids Want From Their Parents?
WHY MY CHILD HAS NO FRIENDS AT SCHOOL? TYPES OF CHILDREN
At this point, you are all ready to help your child making good friends. But, have you ever thought that you need to know your child’s nature as well, before helping him out? Or does it feel like “my child has no friends at school” despite your help? If no, this will help you a lot.
If your child is shy, you probably will face a little more difficult situation to get your kid, a friend. He will always hide behind you, maybe not cooperate at all. This thing can worry you, but you can handle it out if you know the tactics.
Bossy kids always use their assertiveness; that’s why they are mostly friend-less. If you guide them properly, they can get better with friends and reduce conflicts.
These kids are hurt quickly if they find someone is rude to them. Consequently, they will be more delicate to break in their feelings if you don’t help them out properly.
HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD MAKE FRIENDS?
VERY YOUNG TODDLERS
These newbies want fun. So, you teach them the appropriate social skills, as your involvement is essential. Sharing your love, managing, grabbing toys for them, and hiding things is a unique way of involving them with peers.
Also Read: Best Toys For 6 Month Old Babies
PRE-K OR KINDERGARTEN
At this age, friendship takes more meaning to your child. Your keen help here can give them the confidence to have more fun with their new young buddies. They can end up playing all day long, and it’s enough.
Your child can be brilliant enough now if you have given him confidence and help. They develop a sense of phrases like ”I like someone, they don’t like me, she’s nice or, we have a lot in common”. If you reach out to your kid’s feelings at this level, it will benefit your child.
Firstly, he will trust you more and will share his friends’ things with you. Secondly, he will excel more in his socially progressing skills.
6-8 YEARS OF AGE
This age of life is essential in the sense that it involves the understating of peer group situations. Navigate your kid to figure out what’s the best way to make a friend and keep it. Teach them “please”, and ”thank you” type of request gestures. Watch them enjoying the playground and birthday parties.
Here you can’t say that my child has no friends at school because you have already helped them a lot. They have their identity and openly talk about their friends with you. Friendship skills are lifelong skills if appropriately taught.
SPECIAL SKILLS FOR SPECIAL CHILD
Shy kids need practice with few people at first. Don’t reinforce their shyness. Give them smaller experiences of 1 in 1 play-date. Consequently, they become more comfortable with one person; they can practice for more later. The same goes for the kids who are bossy or sensitive. Use their assertiveness and sensitivity as a powerful tool to make long-lasting friends.
Also Read: What To Teach a 5 Year Old Kid?
SOCIAL SKILLS DEVELOPMENT FOR MAKING AND KEEPING FRIENDS
- Teach your kid for who they are, as this is the best way to initiate their social skills development process.
- Teach smile, wave and introduce types of gestures to them
- Tell them that sharing and helping is the prerequisite for a healthy friendship
- Help him to get into acting school programs or join clubs to make new friends
- Teach them to maintain the level secrecy and trust with their buddies
- How to be a good conversationalist (Learn more about Effective Communication With a Child)
- Advise them that they should feel happy for their friends and show their support
- Once friends, help them share their numbers and invite them to your house
- Teach them not to get mad at their friends or how to disagree. And if anger comes in, how to make it up quickly and compromise
Also Read: What Do Kids Want From Their Parents?
DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE A HEALTHY COMPANY?
After resolving the dilemma of ” my child has no friends at school.” There comes another obligation of teaching your child about choosing good friends. Or the importance of differentiating between good and bad friends. Beware that some friendships can make your child’s life toxic.
GOOD FRIENDS OR BAD ONES?
A good friend always appreciates you for who you are and makes you feel welcome. They say good things about you and use humor in simple ways. He will always be with you forever and accept you in all the ways.
On the other hand, bad friends will put you down and won’t let you feel comfortable. They will gossip or rumor about you, hide behind the words, be jealous of you. And they only play with you until someone better comes along. As a result, you feel that having friends is not necessary, but good friends are.
Also Read: How To Teach Your Kid About The Bad Touch?
MY CHILD’S BEHAVIOUR WHEN “MY CHILD HAS NO FRIENDS AT SCHOOL”
The actions of your child can show if your child has no friends at school or conflict is ongoing. If they behave aggressively out of the blue and disagreement, this depicts that they can have some social issues going on with his friends. He can play solo if he has a conflict with any of his friends or if he has no friends at all.
So, you should help him here regarding his behavior and encourage him to overcome the issues. Talk about ways your child can act upon to have better sociality with his friends. ”You are not my friend” is a pre-school thing that can happen daily. So, try to talk to him, his teachers if needed, plan play-dates.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
My child has no friends at school; this is a worrying thought but, it teaches your child to be his best friend as well. Make him learn to enjoy solitude, as this is an invitation to growth, prosperity, and creativity. ”I don’t have any friend” or ”no one invites me” can be the complaints your child can make. Therefore, counsel him that every person is not going to be your friend. And that does not mean that you have a disability.
True self-esteem and real confidence come with true inner friendship. In other words, when our children falter in an energy-driven social world we now live in, we need to be their driving light.
Now whether you are a new parent or an old one, these lines will help you a lot to combat this issue of your child in a better way, and your child has a lot of friends in school anyway.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if my child has no friends?
While children should be granted the space to navigate through the social world, a little help can be given if they are having trouble doing so. The following are some ways you could help your child in the friend-making process:
- Tell them the meaning of friendship and how it functions
- Tell them what they could expect out of a friend, and vice versa
- Explain to them the role that interests play in finding friends
- Introduce them to basic social skills and practice them
- Assure them that it gets easier and you believe in their ability to find friends
What is the reason why my child has no friends?
Many children struggle to make friends both in and outside school. There could be many reasons at work here, such as:
- Your child has a hard time relating to their peers
- Your child simply lacks some basic social skills i.e. they are socially awkward
- Your child has a condition (like autism) that affects their social behavior for the worse
- You have recently moved to a new place and your child does not know anyone that well
- Your child just prefers solitude over companions, et cetera.
How to identify why my child has no friends?
To pinpoint a specific reason why your child is grappling with social isolation, you could take the following steps:
- You can arrange a meeting with one of your child’s teacher, and even the principal and inquire them about your child’s issue
- You can take your child to a counselor and ask them to analyze your child’s behavior
- Sit your child down and ask them to open up and tell you exactly how they feel around their peers; be available for them so that they may feel comfortable confiding in you.
- Try discussing this with their peers and ask for their opinion on your kid; however, if your child does not appreciate this sort of an effort, never let them down in front of others.
What to do if my child chooses not to have any friends?
In this case you should:
- Respect their decision
- Support them
- Don’t nag them too much or try to reason with them as to why having friends is better
- Tell them you would be there to help them should they change their mind in the future
- Love and appreciate them unconditionally