How Long Is Maternity Leave? Time, Duration and Privileges You Get

How long is maternity leave? While being pregnant and working as well, you are under pressure in this amazing yet worrisome time of your life. You are thinking to keep to your working desk. On the other hand, you and your loved ones are conscious about your health and the newbie in your belly. Well, a hard time to make a decision but not as demanding as you think. Follow a few tips and get a good go at your uncomplicated pregnancy and the postpartum period.

MATERNITY TIME – NOT A SINGLE FACTOR TO DETERMINE

How long is maternity leave? Your maternity time is vacation time for many. But for you, it is the time you work the most. However, carrying a baby in your womb and raising that little thing afterward is the toughest, cutest job ever.

To make the most of the nicer vacation, there are multiple things to consider. The effects of your life experiences, success, health, happiness, and income do project themselves on your baby’s life. So please take decisions wisely. Don’t put all the things in the same room. Look at your situation, your family demands, geography, and religion. In short, first things first.

Also Read: Are You Ready To Have a Baby?

HOW LONG IS MATERNITY LEAVE? LONG LEAVE OR SHORTER ONE?

Many moms can just rely on two days, others may need a whole year. Whether you need a fulltime vacation thing or can go for important delivery or postpartum days off, it depends on you! You decide for yourself, your about-to-be-born baby, and the situation you are living in.

Also Read: All Newly Married Women Should Discuss This With Their Partners!

QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF

To decide how long is maternity leave you need to ask yourself some questions.

WHAT ARE YOU ELIGIBLE FOR?

To answer this question, figure out

  • Where do you live and work?
  • How long is your job protective?
  • Is your off time, paid or unpaid?
  • How early you are expecting to return to your work?
  • How early or late you are going to start your leave?
  • Are you eligible for any benefits while you are off? And what criteria do you need to fulfill to become eligible?
  • What are your partner’s rights in these matters?
  • And how much time you should take off?

You need to read the government policies and the policies of your company to answer for “how long is maternity leave?” with privileges.

So, read the company’s policies or talk to an HR department professional, to get to any maternity leave schedule.

Also Read: Why Is It Healthier To Become Pregnant Before 30?

WHAT IS YOUR COMPANY’S CULTURE?

To decide about how long is maternity leave, there is a need to know about the company you work in. Most of the company choose their employees who can easily fit in their policies’ culture. So, if you want to work for them for longer periods you need not set boundaries.

For this, you should know

  • How has the company treated pregnant women in the past?
  • What is your take about them?
  • What do the people that work with you say about them?

For this, speak to the people who work with you or, above your level. People share their experiences, their repercussions for the decisions they took, and advise you if they know about this issue well.

Also Read: Health Risks In First Pregnancy – A Detailed Analysis For New Mothers

WHAT IS THE “RIGHT TIME” FOR YOU?

The most considerable point to ponder for the “how long is maternity leave” issue is to decide about when to leave for your maternity vacation. For this, you need to check your finances and your partner’s eligibility. For how long can you leave your work? Or what will work for you?

Above all, being “the mom” is the toughest job one can have – and it is unpaid. Therefore, feel the fact that when you are happy and contented, only then you can be a caring and loving mama to your kids.

Take a long look. Everything you decide fortunately gets out of the window, once you meet your new baby. So, be flexible enough to meet your changing needs according to your baby’s wishes.

Also Read: How To Be A Good Mom?

STATUARY MATERNITY LEAVE

Different laws and policies of the world combine when it comes to making guidelines for ‘how long is the maternity leave’ topic. Statutory maternity leave law says that a pregnant woman can have 52 weeks holiday, in which the initial 26 weeks are called Ordinary Maternity Leave and the latter 26 weeks are Additional Maternity Leave.

IT STARTS

You are not supposed to take 52 weeks off, but make sure that you do take 2 weeks off after the delivery.

       MATERNITY PAY?

To know about how long is maternity pay is important but to know about paid maternity leave is more important. In short, you can get your pay as well if you are eligible for it. To be eligible,

  • You should earn £120 per week on average
  • You have to be employed for 26 continuous weeks up to the qualifying week (15th week before the expected week of birth)

        HOW MUCH?

  • For the first 6 weeks, you can get 90% of average weekly earnings.
  • In the next 33 weeks, you get £20 or 90% of weekly earnings, whichever is earlier.
  • And in the last 13 weeks, you get no pay.

Also Read: How To Apply For Social Security Number For A Child?

POLICIES OF SOME COUNTRIES YOU SHOULD KNOW!

“How long is maternity leave?” is a hot debate to make. You will be surprised to know that the USA is the only developed country that doesn’t provide good maternity leave or financial assistance to new parents. BUREAU OF LABOUR STATISTICS says that only 11% of private company employees receive paid maternity leaves.

FAMILY and MEDICAL LEAVE ACT SAYS THAT

  • On the federal level, you get 12 weeks of unpaid leave with job security but 40% of women do not even qualify for this unpaid leave.
  • 12% of private-sector employees have access to any paid leave.
  • 25% of women are forced to return to their work after 2 weeks of childbirth.

IN FRANCE

They get 16 weeks and a family allowance per month for the child’s expenses.

IN FINLAND

They get a maternity care package, clothes, items, etc. The government also provides daycare services until the age of 7.

Moreover, some countries provide paid paternal leave as well.

Also Read: How To Raise Your First Child?

DO YOU NEED A GOOD SUGGESTION?

Regardless of what government or your company says, or what your family and partner think, follow your heart. You can take the leave as early or late as you want. You can take your vacations at 37th to 39th week of pregnancy or walk straight into the labor room directly from work. But you also need to emphasize, given an option, to take maternity leave post-delivery. So, you get to spend a lot more time with your little angel.

Also Read: Why Ignoring the Emotional Needs of a Child Can Be Traumatic?

THE EXACT ANSWER TO HOW LONG IS MATERNITY LEAVE!

To sum up, there is no exact answer to this. The answer lies in all these factors that should be figured out. In the end, you will get an accurate answer to how long is maternity leave and an excellent vacation with your baby inside and then outside after delivery as well.

MORE USEFUL ARTICLES

Why Do My Parents Hate Me? | A Guide To Causes And Survival

“Why do my parents hate me?” is one of the most common questions that arise in the mind of most of the children. This era consists of digital media. No matter what search engine you use, this question has been already searched countless times, whether by children or even parents to better understand their kids and their emotions.

‘Perfect parents’ don’t exist, but ‘horrible parents’ do exist. So where is the fine line between both of the terms? Your actions and attitude may raise the question in your children “Why do my parents hate me?”.

Parents may think that they are doing all the right things and that this question can never arise in their child’s mind. But we must understand that children are very sensitive when it comes to their emotions. They need constant reassurance and validation. Any misbehavior may cause cracks in the parent-child bond.

So if you are a child who wants to know the reasons for your parent’s behavior, or if you are even a parent who wants to improve and be a better person for their child, here are the factors that can help you answer this question.

Also Read: How To Save Your Child From A Bad Home Environment?

Why do my parents hate me? They don’t accept me for who I am

The foremost principle of parenting is to love your children unconditionally. Parents often blame children for things that aren’t their fault. For example, sexuality, gender, and mental illnesses. Parents must realize that their child must be accepted for who they are, and must be let know that they love their children regardless and support them.

Why do my parents hate me? They never show me they love me

How can parents expect their children to not feel that they hate them when they don’t even express their love for them?

Being insensitive always makes children feel that they aren’t worthy of love. Parents must make sure that they are expressive when it comes to loving their children.

Also Read: Authoritative Parenting Style – Is It Beneficial In The Modern Era?

Why do my parents hate me? They force their values on me

A parent must never force their standards on their child. Just because a child doesn’t like the things that their parent likes, it doesn’t mean the parent failed. It just means that their child is unique!

If you fight their choices and interests and want them to think and act the way you do, you may risk making children feel like you hate them. It, in turn, leads to their self-esteem issues. “Better to have children who dress weird but feel parental love, than a well-dressed child who feels hated.”

Also Read: Why Ignoring the Emotional Needs of a Child Can Be Traumatic?

Why do my parents hate me? They keep confiscating my phone/game

Parents, many times, seize their child’s favorite things to punish them for something. They feel like doing so may make them realize their fault and respect their parents, but that is not true. In psychological terms, seizing children’s electronic connection to their peers is more or less, putting them in solitary confinement in a time of their life when a connection to peers is important.

To a teen, only hatred could be a factor that encourages a parent to do such an act. Parents must enforce family rules with logical consequences instead of punitive measures.

Also Read: What To Teach a 5 Year Old Kid?

Why do my parents hate me? They fight too much

It is okay to have issues in your relationship but it must be solved internally without its after-effects being projected on children. When parents fight in front of their children, they leave them at high risk for many mental illnesses and effects such as:

  • Anxiety disorders
  • Depression
  • PTSD
  • Social anxiety
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Feeling that parents hate them

Also Read: How Does It Affect a Child Mentally If Parents Are Fighting All The Time?

Why do my parents hate me? They label me things and insult me

“Pathetic”
“Dumb”
“You look ugly in these clothes”
“Why are you so lazy? Why are you so useless?”
“You’re always ruining things for everyone”
“Wish you weren’t born”

Saying things like this to a child is never okay. It is straight-up abusive. It may make parents feel a bit better for the moment when they let off some steam, but it results in grave effects on a child’s mind.

Disrespecting a child is never the right thing to do and parents must keep their ego and anger in check.

Also Read: How To Raise Your First Child?

Why do my parents hate me? They don’t let me see my friends

It is natural for parents to worry about their child and their company, but it does not give them the right to confine their children and restrict them from socializing. They need to learn to trust their children as they go through the various phases of life and mature themselves.

In adolescence, parents must stop dictating their children and be there for them while letting them make the decisions they are supposed to make themselves.

Also Read: My Child Has No Friends At School – What To Do As Parents?

Why do my parents hate me? They don’t appreciate any of my efforts

Praising your child’s good efforts are vital in parenting. Not appreciating what your child accomplishes, results in them feeling that they aren’t liked by their parents.

Why do my parents hate me? They pressurize me too much

Parents can often have unreasonably high expectations from their children, and for them to accomplish that, parents think that pushing or pressurizing them will make them accomplish it. This may work for a very few kids, and it usually ends up in demoralizing the child and making them lose trust in themselves.

Also Read: My Child Doesn’t Want to go to School Because of Anxiety – What To Do?

Why do my parents hate me? They compare me to others

Comparing your children to other children is never okay. It makes them feel like their parents don’t love them for who they are. Children must be let to grow at their own pace, to experience the world on their own, and to learn from their mistakes.

Also Read: What Do Kids Want From Their Parents?

Why do my parents hate me? They don’t value my opinion

Children are human beings too. And just like any other human being, they have the right to express their opinion. Parents must make sure that they value their opinion even if they don’t agree with it if they don’t want to make their children feel unlovable.

Psychological issues with parents

There are a number of serious issues with parents too that causes them to have issues with loving their child. These problems must be addressed and solved as soon as possible. Some of the reasons are:

  • Serious relationship issues with their partner
  • Accidental birth
  • Having children due to pressure from peers
  • Not being ready to have children but have them anyway
  • Mental illnesses like depression
  • Alcohol addiction; Excessive drinking

Also Read: Are You Ready To Have a Baby?

You can get better if you are an abusive parent

If you have been unfair to your child in ways that you only realize now, you can always strive to get better and you will. Knowing all of these factors you can improve your bond with your child. Apologizing would be a very good start.

Also Read: How To Bridge The Communication Gap In Family?

You can heal if you are a child with an abusive parent

Remember that you can always recover from the injustice done to you. There will come a time when you won’t have to seek approval from your abusive parent and you can be whoever you want to. If you are currently living with a difficult parent, here are some of the things that can help you out:

  • Stay calm
  • Try to accept your situation
  • Never retaliate, it will result in more chaos
  • Look to the future with hope
  • Believe in yourself
  • Talk to someone you trust
  • Look after yourself

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do my parents hate me?

Mistreatment at the hands of people who are supposed to be your number one caretakers and supporters could lead to disillusionment. You might find internally asking yourself the same question over and over again: why do my parents hate me?

The possible answers to this can greatly vary, as a plethora of reasons are capable of straining the parent-child relationship. The following are some of them:

  • Accidental conception
  • Disobedience on your part
  • Tight work schedule
  • Great workload
  • Conflict in natures/demeanor
  • Psychological problems

What should I do if my parents hate me?

While there does not exist a guaranteed solution to the problem due to its nature, successfully indentifying the cause of it could help you improvise. You could, however, get some idea from the following strategies:

  1. If you have figured out a certain thing about you that your parents have trouble tolerating, and if you could change it without majorly compromising your individuality, start from there.
  2. Often times parents who disapprove of their child’s occupational or educational choices express it through being distance and cold treatment. If you cannot comply with your parents’ wishes in this regard, try working hard and succeeding at whatever you do.
  3. Maintain distance. If you cannot escape their presence, try to minimize interaction as much as you can. Avoid needlessly asking them for things as it could trigger unnecessary jeering and jabbing. Instead, find your own social setting that you feel comfortable in and try to remain in it for long periods.
  4. If their aversion is a result of envy because of your better lifestyle and success, try helping them out. Ask them if you could be of help and assure them that you would be at their disposal.
  5. Urge them to seek psychological help. Various mental health issues could make a person act in anti social and horrible ways towards others. If your parents are mentally distressed, convince them to see a counselor. If you are of the age, it would not hurt to take matters into your own hands and book your parents an appointment.
  6. Have the talk. Awkward silences are almost a given, but you might end up successfully expressing your feelings to your parents. Tell them that their treatment of you has not been fair. Try to reason with them. Assert your point of view, but also remain receptive to theirs. You could also ask them about reasons and try to make changes to what they deem objectionable.
  7. Since you cannot always come up with a viable solution, do not lose heart. Share your struggles with friends or people who truly look out for you. Be patient and wait till you are able to live on your own. It certainly is not easy, but sometimes the reward makes up for all the hardships. Hang in there.

My Child Has No Friends At School – What To Do as a Parent?

The thought that my child has no friends at school can make almost all the parents worried. As a parent, you hold an extraordinary place in your kid’s social life. You are the best friend your kid can have. You keep your child in the warmth of your motherly feathers. And never want him to get himself out of them. But, when it comes to adding people in his social life, having good friends be the topmost priority.

THE NEED OF FRIENDS IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE

My child has no friends at school! Why do I want my child to have friends? Is my child having trouble making friends? These and many more questions like these can arise in the heads of parents, as they parent their child.

But, on the other hand, many parents underrate the need for friendship. They have the wrong approach that their child does not need friends in life. Above all, they need to stay connected to their child regarding this matter and nurture their friendships.

Also Read: Stranger Anxiety in Toddlers – All You Need To Know

THE “FRIEND PHASES” FOR YOUR CHILD

While in pre-school, friendships enhance social and emotional skills. They increase the child’s wisdom, intellect, self-esteem, and confidence. In other words, lack of attachments in life can cause depression, and thus other health issues making life span shorter

As your child enters the elementary school age, he learns the true meaning of friendship while in school. A good friend at this age will bring the best interests of your child, and have a strong backup of support.

Also Read: My Child Doesn’t Want to go to School Because of Anxiety – What To Do?

AGE TO HAVE FRIENDS

There is a big age range of normal when it comes to preschoolers making friends. Here you feel the need of your child to have friends at school. Before the age of three, kids are more friends and playful to you. They are most reluctant to be with someone else.

However, by the age of three, they get along with other children. They include child care groups, kindergarten, or playgroups. Now, as they get to age four or more, they learn to differentiate between friends and other people. So, they actively choose their friends.

Also Read: What Do Kids Want From Their Parents?

WHY MY CHILD HAS NO FRIENDS AT SCHOOL? TYPES OF CHILDREN

At this point, you are all ready to help your child making good friends. But, have you ever thought that you need to know your child’s nature as well, before helping him out? Or does it feel like “my child has no friends at school” despite your help? If no, this will help you a lot.

SHY KIDS

If your child is shy, you probably will face a little more difficult situation to get your kid, a friend. He will always hide behind you, maybe not cooperate at all. This thing can worry you, but you can handle it out if you know the tactics.

Also Read: How To Keep Your Child Safe From Sexual Abuse?

BOSSY KIDS

Bossy kids always use their assertiveness; that’s why they are mostly friend-less. If you guide them properly, they can get better with friends and reduce conflicts.

Also Read: Authoritative Parenting Style – Is It Beneficial In The Modern Era?

SENSITIVE KIDS

These kids are hurt quickly if they find someone is rude to them. Consequently, they will be more delicate to break in their feelings if you don’t help them out properly.

Also Read: Why Ignoring the Emotional Needs of a Child Can Be Traumatic?

HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD MAKE FRIENDS?

VERY YOUNG TODDLERS

These newbies want fun. So, you teach them the appropriate social skills, as your involvement is essential. Sharing your love, managing, grabbing toys for them, and hiding things is a unique way of involving them with peers.

Also Read: Best Toys For 6 Month Old Babies

PRE-K OR KINDERGARTEN

At this age, friendship takes more meaning to your child. Your keen help here can give them the confidence to have more fun with their new young buddies. They can end up playing all day long, and it’s enough.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

Your child can be brilliant enough now if you have given him confidence and help. They develop a sense of phrases like ”I like someone, they don’t like me, she’s nice or, we have a lot in common”. If you reach out to your kid’s feelings at this level, it will benefit your child.

Firstly, he will trust you more and will share his friends’ things with you. Secondly, he will excel more in his socially progressing skills.

Also Read: How To Choose The Best Primary School For Your Child?

6-8 YEARS OF AGE

This age of life is essential in the sense that it involves the understating of peer group situations. Navigate your kid to figure out what’s the best way to make a friend and keep it. Teach them “please”, and ”thank you” type of request gestures. Watch them enjoying the playground and birthday parties.

Also Read: 14 Things Every Child Should Learn Before Turning 10

TEENAGE GROUP

Here you can’t say that my child has no friends at school because you have already helped them a lot. They have their identity and openly talk about their friends with you. Friendship skills are lifelong skills if appropriately taught.

 SPECIAL SKILLS FOR SPECIAL CHILD

Shy kids need practice with few people at first. Don’t reinforce their shyness. Give them smaller experiences of 1 in 1 play-date. Consequently, they become more comfortable with one person; they can practice for more later. The same goes for the kids who are bossy or sensitive. Use their assertiveness and sensitivity as a powerful tool to make long-lasting friends.

Also Read: What To Teach a 5 Year Old Kid?

SOCIAL SKILLS DEVELOPMENT FOR MAKING AND KEEPING FRIENDS

  • Teach your kid for who they are, as this is the best way to initiate their social skills development process.
  • Teach smile, wave and introduce types of gestures to them
  • Tell them that sharing and helping is the prerequisite for a healthy friendship
  • Help him to get into acting school programs or join clubs to make new friends
  • Teach them to maintain the level secrecy and trust with their buddies
  • How to be a good conversationalist (Learn more about Effective Communication With a Child)
  • Advise them that they should feel happy for their friends and show their support
  • Once friends, help them share their numbers and invite them to your house
  • Teach them not to get mad at their friends or how to disagree. And if anger comes in, how to make it up quickly and compromise

Also Read: What Do Kids Want From Their Parents?

DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE A HEALTHY COMPANY?

After resolving the dilemma of ” my child has no friends at school.” There comes another obligation of teaching your child about choosing good friends. Or the importance of differentiating between good and bad friends. Beware that some friendships can make your child’s life toxic.

GOOD FRIENDS OR BAD ONES?

A good friend always appreciates you for who you are and makes you feel welcome. They say good things about you and use humor in simple ways. He will always be with you forever and accept you in all the ways.

On the other hand, bad friends will put you down and won’t let you feel comfortable. They will gossip or rumor about you, hide behind the words, be jealous of you. And they only play with you until someone better comes along. As a result, you feel that having friends is not necessary, but good friends are.

Also Read: How To Teach Your Kid About The Bad Touch?

MY CHILD’S BEHAVIOUR WHEN “MY CHILD HAS NO FRIENDS AT SCHOOL”

The actions of your child can show if your child has no friends at school or conflict is ongoing. If they behave aggressively out of the blue and disagreement, this depicts that they can have some social issues going on with his friends. He can play solo if he has a conflict with any of his friends or if he has no friends at all.

So, you should help him here regarding his behavior and encourage him to overcome the issues. Talk about ways your child can act upon to have better sociality with his friends. ”You are not my friend” is a pre-school thing that can happen daily. So, try to talk to him, his teachers if needed, plan play-dates.

Also Read: How To Save Your Child From A Bad Home Environment?

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

My child has no friends at school; this is a worrying thought but, it teaches your child to be his best friend as well. Make him learn to enjoy solitude, as this is an invitation to growth, prosperity, and creativity. ”I don’t have any friend” or ”no one invites me” can be the complaints your child can make. Therefore, counsel him that every person is not going to be your friend. And that does not mean that you have a disability.

True self-esteem and real confidence come with true inner friendship. In other words, when our children falter in an energy-driven social world we now live in, we need to be their driving light.

Now whether you are a new parent or an old one, these lines will help you a lot to combat this issue of your child in a better way, and your child has a lot of friends in school anyway.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do if my child has no friends?

While children should be granted the space to navigate through the social world, a little help can be given if they are having trouble doing so. The following are some ways you could help your child in the friend-making process:

  • Tell them the meaning of friendship and how it functions
  • Tell them what they could expect out of a friend, and vice versa
  • Explain to them the role that interests play in finding friends
  • Introduce them to basic social skills and practice them
  • Assure them that it gets easier and you believe in their ability to find friends

What is the reason why my child has no friends?

Many children struggle to make friends both in and outside school. There could be many reasons at work here, such as:

  • Your child has a hard time relating to their peers
  • Your child simply lacks some basic social skills i.e. they are socially awkward
  • Your child has a condition (like autism) that affects their social behavior for the worse
  • You have recently moved to a new place and your child does not know anyone that well
  • Your child just prefers solitude over companions, et cetera.

How to identify why my child has no friends?

To pinpoint a specific reason why your child is grappling with social isolation, you could take the following steps:

  • You can arrange a meeting with one of your child’s teacher, and even the principal and inquire them about your child’s issue
  • You can take your child to a counselor and ask them to analyze your child’s behavior
  • Sit your child down and ask them to open up and tell you exactly how they feel around their peers; be available for them so that they may feel comfortable confiding in you.
  • Try discussing this with their peers and ask for their opinion on your kid; however, if your child does not appreciate this sort of an effort, never let them down in front of others.

What to do if my child chooses not to have any friends?

In this case you should:

  • Respect their decision
  • Support them
  • Don’t nag them too much or try to reason with them as to why having friends is better
  • Tell them you would be there to help them should they change their mind in the future
  • Love and appreciate them unconditionally

Child Doesn’t Want To Go To School Because of Anxiety – What To Do?

‘School refusal’ refers to the behavior exhibited when the child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety. It doesn’t end up in a calm conversation between you and your kid. Instead, there is usually crying, panicking and yelling demonstrated by your child.

It can happen abruptly, or can start gradually. It is usually caused by separation anxiety but there can be other issues like social problems at school or any phobia. This issue can usually be tackled with, with the right ways. But if the symptoms prolong for a month or more then you must get a proper diagnostic assessment for your kid.

Are you disoriented and don’t know what to do because your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety? Well, here are the major solutions to your problem.

Also Read: What Do Kids Want From Their Parents?

Understanding the issue

You have to first identify the actual issue. If your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety, then they must be facing any of the following issues:

Also Read: Parents Who Bully Their Children – Are You One Of Them?

Picking and dropping your child from school

Yes, it is helpful to pick and drop your child from school yourself in the initial times. It surely helps with their anxiety. You can add the following gestures to this strategy to help the situation get better if your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety:

Talking to your child

While talking to your child, you must stay calm and don’t act stressed out. Use direct statements, do not invalidate our child’s feelings, and tell them that you will always be there for them. Let them know that you are not leaving them.

Don’t make the drop-off too quick

Your child will be afraid if you suddenly sneak off. Fran Walfish, Psy. D, child and family psychotherapist says “It can take up to ten weeks for a child to be fully ready to be left at school without her mother”

Children must never be separated from their parents abruptly. It makes them panic. This is one of the biggest reasons when your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety.

Also Read: Stranger Anxiety in Toddlers – All You Need to Know

Bring a familiar, comforting item

You can give your child a comforting item for them to take to school with them. It can be their favorite toy, a teddy bear or even their favorite storybook. It can provide children a real sense of security in a new place.

Do not compare

“Woah, look at Alex. He’s so calm going to school, he’s not even troubling his parents. Why can’t you be like him?”

Don’t say this to your toddler, don’t compare them to other kids. Some children have to cry in those moments to work their feelings through.

It is one of the reasons your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety.

Also Read: Why Ignoring the Emotional Needs of a Child Can Be Traumatic?

Initiate a ‘goodbye custom’

It provides security and familiarity, so your kid knows what’s to come. This could be anything including a hug, a handshake, a physical gesture.

Remember to say words like “See you later, sunshine!” so that they know that you’re going to be there for them soon. It will help when your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety.

Make them their favorite food for lunch

It will help your child have something to look forward to. It will make them feel safe and comfortable, and give them delight.

Also Read: School Lunch Ideas For Picky Eaters

Remind them that you came for them

Whenever you’re picking them up from school, remind them that you came back just the way you said you would. One of the prime reasons your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety is their fear of abandonment. They feel like you won’t come for them.

So when you do, comfort them and let them know that you will always be waiting for them.

Consider rewarding them

If your child goes to school calmly and tries to act mature, you must appreciate them and praise their effort. Rewarding them with something will encourage them to continue this calm behavior.

Also Read: Best Toys For 6 Month Old Babies

Leave tiny cute notes for them

Placing a note in your child’s lunchbox or bag would make them feel loads better. You can write cute lines like “I’m so proud of you!” or “I love you!” to help them cope better with their environments

Also Read: How To Keep Your Child Safe From Sexual Abuse?

Interact with your child’s teachers

Talk to your child’s teacher. For it will ease your child’s settlement in the new environment, and it will ease you too.

Talk to the school staff for advice and ideas to help cope with this issue. Get to know the school’s attendance policy, and get your child referred to other support staff if necessary.

Initiate child contact with home. Any call, no matter how short, will help your child cope with their feelings.

Also Read: Authoritative Parenting Style – Is It Beneficial In The Modern Era?

Effective methods for when your child is at home

Staying calm

Staying patient and calm helps. The visibility of your worry may worsen your child’s anxiety.

Making the home environment a bit boring

Reduce the accessibility to internet, TV, or any other fun activity your child likes. So they don’t feel rewarded for not going to school.

Also Read: How To Save Your Child From A Bad Home Environment?

Reduce the amount of attention you give to them

Early bedtime or checked time with you at night will help them realize the consequences of their actions.

Get your child to do the homework for the time being

Make sure that your child doesn’t lag behind because of this issue.

Make them follow a proper sleep schedule

Be calm and direct in your statements and help them adjust to the school timing schedule.

Also Read: How To Choose The Best Primary School For Your Child?

Taking care of yourself

You may get significantly worried and stressed out when your child doesn’t go to school because of anxiety. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of your child? Remember to:

  • Vent out your feelings in a healthy way
  • Eat well
  • Meditate
  • Exercise
  • Get enough sleep

Also Read: Best Tools to Improve Vocabulary in Primary School?

Seeking professional help

Remember to seek professional help if this issue persists for several months and your child withdraws from friends, peers, and family.

Also Read: What To Teach a 5 Year Old Kid?

You can manage it!

Knowing all of these strategies, you can surely help get rid of the chaos you and your family faces when your child doesn’t want to go to school because of anxiety. Remember to persevere, be patient, and try your best!

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Effective Communication with Child: Are You Really Listening to Him?

Effective communication with your child is the key to having a healthy relationship with him/her. It involves listening well and talking to your child in a way that he listens to you. It requires a lot of patience, perseverance, and practice. Parents are often found scouring the Internet for workable strategies to talk to their child and make him listen to them; but they are often oblivious to working on the more important part i.e. listening to him.

This article will not only give you a chance to reflect upon your behavior with your child and realize what you are doing wrong but also tell you ways to become a good listener for effective communication with a child. It will answer your query of “Am I listening to my child properly?”

Why you might not be listening to your child?

Most parents may be good at talking but do not manage to listen to their children effectively. There are many barriers to effective communication with your child.

Responsibilities

According to a 2019 US survey, in married-couple families with children, 64.2% have both parents employed. When parents are juggling their job responsibilities with parenting and household chores, they may be stretched to the limit and do not have the patience to listen to their child.

Preoccupation

Parents who are preoccupied with their own thoughts or work, do not listen to their child properly.

Also Read: What Do Kids Want From Their Parents?

Multi-tasking

When parents try to manage other tasks like cooking and watching television along with listening to what their child is saying, their attention is divided and they are unable to listen properly.

Prejudgment

Parents often anticipate what their child is going to say next, and cut him in the middle. This hinders effective communication with child.

Fatigue or Hunger

When parents are too tired or hungry, they may feel irritated and less inclined to listen to their child properly.

Emotional Stress

When parents are going through an emotional upheaval, they may not be paying too much attention to listening to their child.

Also Read: How Does It Affect a Child Mentally If Parents Are Fighting All The Time?

Perceptual Barrier

The inability of some parents to understand non-verbal cues and focusing on words only may cause a lack of effective communication with the child.

Ignorance

They are completely unaware of what they are doing wrong and how to become a good listener.

Also Read: How To Save Your Child From A Bad Home Environment?

Why you should listen to your child to ensure effective communication with the child?

You may find it very hard to manage enough time and patience to “listen” to your child due to mounting responsibilities at home and work. But it is very important for effective communication with a child and proves very rewarding in the long run.

  • It strengthens the parent-child relationship.
  • This may be useful in preventing sexual abuse too, as your child has the confidence to share everything with you.
  • It encourages them to continue sharing with you in their teenage years too. If you do not listen to your child in his childhood, he may not share important stuff in his life with you when he grows up.
  • When you give them your undivided attention and listen to them, they feel valued. This boosts up their self-esteem.
  • This creates emotional awareness in your child.
  • It promotes the exchange of ideas between parents and children which may be fruitful for the parent too. This is because children think out of the box and give creative solutions to problems.
  • It sets a model for them and develops their listening skills too which will promote learning.

Also Read: How To Choose The Best Primary School For Your Child?

Effective Communication with Child: How to listen to your child properly?

Most parents are completely unaware of the concept of active listening which is encouraged by child physicians and psychologists for effective communication with children. It is a technique that requires you to fully concentrate, understand, respond, and remember what is being said.

Here are some ways that will help you become a good listener.

Practice makes a man perfect

Listening like any other skill can be honed with practice. It is not an inherent trait. You can make conscious efforts to make it better. Playtime is a good time to practice these skills for effective communication with a child.

Also Read: How To Raise Your First Child?

Show interest and rapt attention

Most children are very expressive. They are bursting to tell you all their daily activities and innovative ideas popping up in their mind. But they also have sensitive antennae that can sense your level of interest or attention. You cannot fool them into believing that you are listening to them while your eyes are glued to the television screen or a simmering saucepan in the kitchen.

For effective communication with the child, show him that you are interested in what he is saying and it is important for you. This helps him express his ideas more freely.

Show your interest with your words

You can show your interest by saying phrases like “Tell me more!” “Oh really?” or “I would love to know.”

Brush aside distractions

It may be very difficult for you to resist watching television or finishing your work first. But leave whatever you are doing and pay full attention to effective communication with the child. Put your phone aside. This may seem like an overstatement but your child is going to remember forever that you turned off your phone to listen to him.

If you have an urgent piece of work to do

In this case, you can tell your child you will be available soon to talk.

“Mommy has an urgent piece of work. Can you finish it quickly or we can discuss it at length right after I finish?”

Maintain eye contact

You must resist the temptation of a message alert on your mobile and maintain eye contact with your child. This shows your focused attention. Your child notices where you are looking anywhere else.

Also Read: How To Teach Your Kids About Good and Bad Touch?

Listen to non-verbal messages

If you think your child only communicates with you through words, you are grossly mistaken. For effective communication with a child, you have to be aware of the non-verbal cues that include tone, body language, facial expressions, posture, and energy level. Closely observe them. Listening isn’t just hearing words but also understanding what is behind them. You can tell more from the way your child said something than from what is being said. See if your child is gritting teeth in anger or jumping with excitement.

Listen with Patience

Listening to a child may require a lot of patience, but is pivotal for effective communication with the child.

Let him finish

Do not jump in or interrupt or put words in his mouth. Listen in a way that shows you have plenty of time. You may have the irresistible urge to complete unfinished sentences of your child or correct him when he says something wrong, but wait! Let him finish. Listen to him till the end of the story, even when he says something ridiculous or wrong.

Give him time to find words

Your child may take a lot of time to find appropriate words because of his limited vocabulary and experience. Give him time to find words.

Do not prejudge

It is very easy to anticipate what your child is going to say next. But try not to prejudge. Listen with an open mind. And let him speak.

Also Read: Authoritative Parenting Style – Is It Beneficial In The Modern Era?

Get down to his level

You have to get down to his level. Do not sound smarter or faster than him. This can irritate him. You have to realize that “his teacher said something to him” may seem a very minor thing for you, but it is a matter of life and death for him. His stolen pencil may cause extreme distress. Getting a star from the teacher may be the most joyous event of his life. You have to put yourself in his shoes.

Be responsive

You must show an appropriate response to your child to encourage him to keep speaking.

Give a support response, not a shift response

Some parents do not let their children speak and give a shift response. Shift response is the tendency of the listener to turn the topic to themselves without showing interest in the speaker. For example, some parents start narrating their own experiences rather than letting the child speak. You may have a lot to tell your child about yourself and you may have gone through a lot in your life, but your child deserves to be listened to too.  Show a support response as opposed to a me-oriented shift response.

Non-verbal response

Sometimes, it may be a good idea to respond without words. Quiet acceptance may be as valuable as feedback. With a well-timed “hmm” and “wow” you can show your interest but allow them to speak more. You can nod, smile, and show affection.

Also Read: How To Be A Good Mom?

Reflection of Words: Repeat what he said

It is a good idea to repeat what your child said. This tells him that he is being listened to and understood, and strengthens his confidence. However:

  • Do not sound way faster or smarter than the child.
  • You can rephrase it and add detail.
  • You can correct pronunciation and grammar.

For example

  • Your child said, “I readed this book.”

You can respond by saying, “ Oh you read this colorful book. What is it about?”

  • He said, “I colored it.”

Active listening requires you to say, “Oh, nice! You have colored it in red and green.”

This also increases his vocabulary.

Show an understanding of your child’s feelings

Your child will want to continue talking to you only if he feels he is being understood. Listen in a way that shows that you understand him completely. Do not lecture your child. Otherwise, he may clam up.

Empathize with your child

Show empathy. Try to understand things from the child’s point of view. Do not be critical or judgemental. Make him feel that he did the right thing by telling you what he feels.

Use words to validate his feelings

Show that you understand what he is going through, and it is okay to feel whatever he is feeling. Respond in a sensitive way to his emotions of anger, sadness, embarrassment, or fear. You may not agree with his feelings, but never tell him that he should stop feeling a particular way.

“Oh, dear! That would have upset me too.”

“I am sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

Don’t start cheering him up at once

Some parents abruptly start trying to cheer up their children. “Hey! Do not worry! Cheer up!” You should not say this to him directly when he starts sharing. This invalidates his feelings, or just temporarily suppresses them and they may resurface later. Let him understand and explore his feelings.

Also Read: Parents Who Bulley Their Children – Are You One Of Them?

Don’t rush into problem-solving

Similarly don’t rush into problem-solving although you may really want to. Your child might just want you to listen, and to feel that his feelings and opinions matter to someone. Control your own anxiety.

Don’t put him on the spot

If your child is expressing something that is sensitive to him, he may not like you to ask direct questions or look at him directly. Avoid asking direct questions like “Why did you feel angry at your friend?” or “Why do you feel upset about such a little thing?” This puts him on the spot and may make him feel uncomfortable.

Also Read: Why Ignoring the Emotional Needs of a Child Can Be Traumatic?

Reflection of emotions

He might be feeling powerful emotions that he himself is not aware of. Your child may not be able to find words for his feelings because of his little vocabulary and experience. But you must observe and help him find words with your wider vocabulary for effective communication with the child. This enables him to express his feelings as clearly as possible and gives him a deeper understanding of words and inner thoughts.

  • “I am not happy.”

“Oh you are unhappy and sad.” This helps him understand that the emotion he is going through is sadness and adds a new word in his dictionary.

  • If your child tells you he feels very bad about another child because the teacher appreciated him more; you introduce your child to a new feeling i.e. jealousy.
  • His friend ditched him and played with other classmates in the break time, a good response can be, “Oh you felt left-out. And this made you feel sad. ”
  • His teacher asked him to stand up as a punishment and he tells you he feels bad, you may say, “Oh you felt embarrassed. I would have felt the same.”

Do not worry about getting it wrong

Sometimes, a child’s response may mean a lot of things. For example your child’s crying may mean he is upset, angry, or scared. Make a guess. “It seems that you are upset. Something is bothering you.” If you are wrong, your child will correct you. Ask him to help you understand his emotion.

Also Read: Best Tools For Improving Vocabulary In School?

Avoid dead-end questions

Ask open-minded questions while conversing that helps your child wallow in the valleys of their creativity and share their ideas. Extend the conversation for effective communication with the child. The questions, that require a simple “yes”/“no” or a right answer, lead to a dead end.

Use conversation openers

“How was the day?”
“How would you have taught this lesson if you were the teacher?”

“You seem angry.”

Avoid conversation closers

“Oh okay. You should forget about it.”

“Don’t be such a baby! Grow up!”

Also Read: 14 Things Every Child Should Learn Before Turning 10

Look for signs to stop the conversation

Your child may show signs that he is tired and wants to stop the conversation. He may stare into space, give silly responses, or ask you to repeat stuff again and again. You have to understand what your child wants.

Encourage talking

Most children are chatterboxes while some require a lot of encouragement and positive responses to start talking. They might need an invitation to start talking. Encourage them to talk, “Tell me about your day at school?” Give value to what they say. They will share ideas only when others think they are important.

Share your thoughts

You can also encourage talking by sharing your thoughts. For instance, “I plan to change the setting. I don’t know where to put this table.” Your child may offer a suggestion.

Also Read: What To Teach a 5 Year Old Kid?

Set aside time to talk and listen to your child

In the rat race and high tech era, fix a time to spend with your child at least once a day. It may be 10 minutes of talking before bedtime or after coming home from school. Family meals are also a great time to do practice listening skills for effective communication with a child.

A 2013 research has shown that frequent family meals and having more conversation predicted less depressive symptoms in children.

Upshot

As children grow older, many parents complain that their child does not like to interact with them and share things with them. The most important reason for this is usually a lack of effective communication with the child. Parents claim that they have always tried to listen to their child, but when asked most of them are totally unaware of the concept of active listening. Jane Nelsen, the author of Positive Discipline Series says: “Children will listen to you after they feel listened to.”

It may seem easy to brush off your child’s problems especially when you are busy, but this plays havoc with their emotions. When your child comes running to you to tell you even the most trivial thing, make sure you do not disappoint him. Become the audience your child wants.

Do not let your frantic and frenetic routine deprive you of these moments of effective communication with the child. Give him your full attention, stop whatever you are doing, and reflect his words and emotions. Your child needs to know that you will always be there to listen to him.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do to effectively communicate with children?

Parent-child communication is extremely significant as it helps in the mental development of the child. You can take the following steps to achieve effective communication with child:

  • Ask them about their interests/how they like spending their time
  • Be open to their opinions, even if they differ from yours
  • Don’t reprimand them solely for contradicting you, reason with them
  • Don’t impose your views on them
  • Give them the space to learn about things on their own, do not overshadow their efforts
  • Maintain a soft tone while communicating with them
  • Don’t lash out at them for committing mistakes, instead admonish them on how to avoid it next time
  • Encourage them to open up in front of you
  • Listen to them. Always.

How do I learn to interact/communicate with little children?

Little children generally are highly curious and tend to ask many trivial questions. This inquisitiveness is usually a cause of annoyance – but should not be. Effective communication with child includes paying attention to even these insignificant questions and trying to answer them in the best way possible.

Showing interest in what a child has to say is the key. It helps in building the child’s confidence, as they realize that what they say has value. Don’t just brush off their everyday remarks, but listen and respond.

If you have a talkative child, chances are they would carry this habit well into public spaces too. You must ensure that your child is not talked over, or hushed, but calmly advised to remain silent.

If, on the other hand, your little one is rather demure and reserved, encouragement for more participation must be given. You should ask them simple question that they could easily answer, such as asking them what they are doing, or if they are having a good time doing it.

Be conscious of your tone around little children, as they are sensitive to harshness.

How to improve my child’s communication skills?

A child’s communicational skills improve when their parents encourage them, listen to them, and make them feel like their input matters.

You, as a parent, could take some measures to enhance your child’s communication skills;

  1. Listen: you should intently listen to your child whenever they are expressing anything to you. You should not jump to correcting them even if they are wrong, until they are finished. Make them feel like you have time for whatever they have to say, rather than rushing through the conversations.
  2. Participate: if your child brings up a discussion, make sure you give in your two cents. Even if you are not educated on the particular topic, show that you are interested by asking them further about it.
  3. Encourage: if your child is being hesitant, assure them that they can talk to you about anything. If they have trouble opening up, make sincere eye contact and make them comfortable.

Support: if your child is correct about something, support their stance and say things in its favor. Don’t be overly critical and nitpick your child’s every word for mistakes, instead, appreciate their participation.