Parents Who Bully Their Children – Are You One Of Them?

How Do Parents Bully Their Children?

All parents want their children to grow up in a peaceful environment. A calm domestic atmosphere ensures the healthy development of a child’s mental faculties. But what if there are parents who bully their children and cause mental disturbance?

You often hear about children bullying other children. It may seem difficult to believe, but bullying parents exist too. In other words, parents who have a controlling attitude are likely to bully their children. They can cause real problems in the lives of their children.

Not only do they produce an emotional disturbance in their children’s lives, but they also hamper their mental growth. So, parents should stick to a more supportive and moderate style of parenting.

Furthermore, research shows that parents who bully their children foster a sense of insecurity in their children. These children are more likely to cause discomfort to others. Therefore, such parents need to change their attitude if they want their kids to be confident and happy.

Also Read: Why Ignoring the Emotional Needs of a Child Can Be Traumatic?

How do parents who bully their children behave?

Studies show that adult bullies can be of different types. They may be self-centered showing no empathy towards their children. However, some may misbehave because they are in a stressful situation.

Apart from that, the most common type of parents who bully their children is verbal bullying parents. They use demeaning language and humiliate their children. As a result, it can have severe psychological impacts on the children and may also lead them into depression.

However, the worst form of adult bullying is physical bullying. Children who are victims of physical intimidation tend to behave aggressively. Moreover, they may have a hard time interacting with people and developing long-term relationships.

Also Read: How To Overcome Communication Gap In Your Family?

Ten signs your parents are bullying you

Most parents who bully their children have an antagonistic parenting style while some may do so accidentally. No matter the approach, these adults lead to potentially damaging psychological issues. Below are ten signs that indicate your parents are bullying you.

1.      Behavioral Manipulation

If you feel that your parents scold you too much over petty little matters, you should consider talking to them about their attitude. Don’t be afraid if they try to manipulate you in every case. There is nothing wrong with reaching out and asking for help from your teachers or relatives.

Also Read: Things Kids Want From Their Parents – Are You Paying Attention?

2.      Verbal Abuses

Words can cause a lot of damage. Some parents who bully their children use sarcastic comments to humiliate their children. As a result, children have to face numerous mental health problems.

Moreover, children start abusing their friends and fellows. The attitude they develop at an early age goes with them for the rest of their lives. To avoid this, parents shouldn’t yell or speak ill of anyone in front of their children.

Also Read: How To Be A Good Mom?

3.      Having Trouble Sleeping

Another common thing that you may experience due to domestic violence is sleep disturbance. Sleep acts as a healer and relieves stress. If you are unable to sleep, your health will wear down gradually.

Also, you may have frequent nightmares and headaches. Processing the abuse will be difficult when you are not getting any sleep.

4.      Unfair Punishment

Some parents use very harsh tactics to control their children. They punish them without any reason to make them fear. Therefore, if your parents inflict pain on you for making little mistakes, they are bullying you.

5.      Exposure to Drugs and Violence

Unlike most parents who bully their children, some parents may expose their children to drugs. Exposing children to drugs and violence is a violation of their rights. If you experience such a situation, you should report it to the authorities immediately.

Also Read: How To Keep Your Child Safe From Sexual Abuse?

6.      Changes in Eating Habits

You may notice a change in your eating habits. Moreover, most children who are victims of parental bullying end up being anorexic or obese. Eating disorders are a common observation among such children.

Furthermore, you may also become self-destructive. To prevent this, you need to seek out help from relatives and teachers.

7.      Losing Interest in Studies

Poor academic performance is another outcome of parental bullying. You may lose interest in schoolwork and studies. Not just that, you may also feel hesitation in going to school.

As a result, parental bullying can destroy your academic career. So, it would be best if you tried to stay put and focus on your studies.

Also Read: How To Choose The Best Primary School For Your Child?

8.      Decreased Self-Esteem

Sadly, parents who bully their children erode their self-esteem. Children develop a sense of fear and helplessness. In the long run, it destroys their character and decreases their self-confidence.

Also, such children are afraid of speaking up for themselves. If you feel that you can’t stand up for your rights, you may be a victim of parental bullying.

9.      Disturbed Social Life

When parents act aggressively, their children start to fear them. As a result, children are reluctant to speak about their problems with their parents. It leads to a communication gap that casts a long-term impact on the social life of the children.

Moreover, they fail to make friends and maintain relationships. In short, such children become socially isolated and withdrawn.

Also Read: How Does It Affect a Child Mentally If Parents Are Fighting All The Time?

10.  Continuous Criticism

Finally, if your parents keep criticizing you all the time, you will feel incompetent and insecure. You will lose confidence in yourself and become pessimistic. But you don’t want this to happen, right?

Most parents who bully their children insult them and cast negative comments about their skills. So, you should stay strong and face them with courage.

Also Read: How To Teach Your Kids About Good and Bad Touch?

Dealing with parental bullying

Parental bullying decreases the ability of children to function independently. As children, you must know how to deal with it. Only then can you lead a happy and independent life.

First off, you should try to talk to your parents. It would be best if you made them understand that they are in the wrong. If this doesn’t work out, you should go for other options. Try to talk to your school teacher or a relative. Make sure that they understand the gravity of the problem.

If they don’t help you out, you should resort to a law enforcement agency for the protection of your rights. You mustn’t stay quiet and let your parents bully you. Otherwise, it can have long-lasting effects on your psyche.

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Authoritative Parenting Style: Is It Beneficial In The Modern Age?

Remember the time when our parents used to punish us and we started hating them at that time but some adults would say, “Once you grow up you’ll realize what they are doing is actually good for you.” We never understood it back then, but now when we are having our own kids, it is even more important to be sure that your parenting style is the best for your children.

Contrary to popular belief, being too harsh and strict with children can emotionally scar them and they grow up with low self-esteem and social anxiety issues. On the other hand, being too permissive can spoil the children where they forget about respecting other people’s personal space and turn out to become an unhealthy part of society. So what are your options? Which is the best parenting style? What if you are a new parent with no parenting experience and you are figuring out how to raise your first child? Should you be strict with your children or not? We have all the answers here!

Classification of parenting styles

Broadly there are 4 different parenting styles, every one of them has its own pros and cons. But some parenting styles are obvious recipes of failures, and the best way to avoid them is to understand how it works.

Authoritarian Parenting Style

This is the type of parenting that is most hated by the children and is counter-productive at its best. Parents who follow the authoritarian parenting style tend to be very strict and lack proper warmth towards the children. They have a lot of demands and uncalled-for limits for their children.

They don’t allow the children to discover themselves and be their own person. This is an old style of parenting but it is widely discouraged by new researches. It can turn a child into a rebel or leave a scar on their personality that stays with them forever.

Authoritative Parenting Style

This is the most widely accepted style of parenting and our winner for today. Authoritative parents would try to explain everything to their children, tell them about right and wrong, and set certain limits for the child.

The limits on children are mostly in the form of punishments for misbehavior. These punishments are mostly meant to make the child repent what they did instead of making them feel like they are paying for the bad things they did.

This is by far the most time consuming and difficult but most productive form of parenting. Such parents have warmth and love for their children but at the same time, they don’t let their children do whatever they want.

Despite all the good things, this form of parenting is advised only during the early years of the child. Strong authoritative parenting can become counterproductive especially for teenagers. During the teen years, a child needs an amalgamation of authoritative and permissive parenting until they are legally an adult.

Permissive Parenting Style

Permissive parenting is the most fantasized form of parenting especially for children and the people who haven’t become parents yet. They believe in loving the child, giving them direction and teaching them right and wrong. But at the same time, permissive parents never stop their children from doing anything.

A lack of proper boundaries can make a child rude, self-absorbed and self-righteous. This parenting style can be harmful especially during the early years of the child as they misuse absolute freedom and forget how to respect people’s personal space. Permissive parenting is best only when your children are legally adults.

Uninvolved Parenting Style

Just like authoritarian parenting, uninvolved parenting is counterproductive at its best. Such parents do not interfere with their children’s life at all. They lack warmth and proper love for the children. Uninvolved parents are mostly not there for their children and this can turn children hostile and rude.

Uninvolved parenting can also scar a child’s personality and expose them to mental health issues; this is the worst thing that could happen to a child. This is why uninvolved parenting is discouraged all the time.

Is the Authoritative parenting style suitable for the modern age?

Since the practice of strict parenting that was carried out for a long time has produced bad results, people have started opposing the whole idea of parents punishing their children and setting boundaries. But after careful analysis, we can understand that Authoritative parenting is the best parenting style, especially for young children.

The modern age is especially against harsh punishments and scolding that can develop and trigger self-esteem issues. But this does not mean that there should not be any limits. There needs to be a clear cut boundary even for the parents and they should understand what types of punishments are okay. Once they have a good understanding of acceptable and unacceptable punishments, there is nothing better than an authoritative parenting style.

What are the “Right” boundaries and punishments?

The idea of punishments is very broad and a lot of education and research is needed before you can choose the right kinds of punishments for your children. You also have to decide a clear cut protocol for the children to get exonerated from the punishment while making sure that they do not take their apology for granted.

Here is an example. If your child misbehaves with someone, you have to tell them how they were wrong for the first time. Once you make them understand their mistake, they should be free to go without any punishment. If they repeat the mistake and the situation was easy enough for them to understand that they were wrong, they should get punishments like canceling their playtime.

Once the child apologizes after they get the punishment for the first time, they should be given the playtime back. However, if they repeat the same mistake again and apologize after getting punishment, they must have to face the punishment with regret and it should not be canceled immediately. This is how parents have to follow all the stages instead of starting off with punishments.

Many children will understand and obey during the first few stages. Similarly, appreciating and rewarding them when they do something good or when they remember what you taught them is a very positive parenting strategy. Reward them every time they behave obediently. Appreciation will make them want to obey you.  It takes time and effort, but this is the only safe and effective way to discipline the children.

Benefits of Authoritative parenting

  • Authoritative parenting makes a child obedient without damaging their self-esteem.
  • It can make a child responsible.
  • Children will understand why their parents are setting boundaries for them. They won’t have to assume what is happening to them.
  • Children will learn to respect others and their personal space.
  • Children won’t be afraid to share things with their parents and the parents can easily guide them and prevent anything bad from happening.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, authoritative parenting is the most effective and acceptable parenting style in modern times. But this style should be mixed with permissive parenting at times. Also, one should take the age of the child into account. Young children need authoritative parenting but older children need freehand as well.

Rewarding children for good behavior can be an easy and positive way to make them choose right from wrong. If you are inculcating the idea in your child’s brain that their good deeds will bear fruit, they would come out to be better people as they grow up.

There are no hard and fast rules for parenting. It is a constant job and you have to be creative at times and trust your better judgment. Understanding your options and figuring out the best strategy for your child’s well being is the key to becoming a good parent.